


when my mind is running wild, can you help me slow it down?

by spinning_out



Category: Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia (but very little), Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27400786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinning_out/pseuds/spinning_out
Summary: David Brittlesbee was a very emotional person. He always had been, but sometimes those emotions just couldn’t stay under control.
Relationships: Brad Bakshi & David Brittlesbee, Brad Bakshi/David Brittlesbee, background Rachel/Dana, past David Brittlesbee/Original Male Character
Comments: 19
Kudos: 17





	1. Emotional Insecurities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idkshrug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkshrug/gifts).



> for abbi, (you should all read her stuff) who asked me to write a fic about david’s past the day we started watching MQ <4
> 
> i promise parts are happier than the tags make it seem 
> 
> (title is from Pretty Please by Dua Lipa)

David Brittlesbee was a very emotional person. He always had been, he just got good at hiding it. Once you’ve cried in front of your entire work staff on multiple occasions, and been constantly berated by your own family for being “too vulnerable,” you never want it to happen again. 

It was the constant arguing between Ian and Poppy that started to eat away at David. It felt like he was choosing between his parents again; something that still scarred him from his childhood, both mentally and physically. He had tried to explain that to Carol in HR, but she brushed him away, insisting that she couldn’t help. So David suffered in silence. He kept himself from crying after another unsuccessful staff meeting, plastering a fake smile on his face. Nobody noticed anyways. David hated crying in front of other people. 

The first time it happened at work was 2 years prior; the day after his wife asked for a divorce. He had kept himself composed as he, Brad, Ian, and Poppy all sat in Ian’s office. When Ian asked if David could work late that night, and he immediately agreed, everyone knew something was off.  


“Aren’t you gonna like, check in with your wife first?” Poppy questioned.  
At the first mention of her, David’s tears started to fall. He felt like he was too visible, as everyone else who was with him sat in an awkward silence.  
“She- she’s leaving me,” David choked out through a few more sobs. “I… don’t wanna spend another night on my couch so.. so working late is my best choice.” Brad had put his hand on David’s back, and David was surprised. Brad seemed like the last person who would be comforting him. Thinking about the fact that they were all pitying him at the moment only made him feel guilty. He got up off of Ian’s couch and went back to his own office, attempting to steady his breathing as he walked.  


The second time was when David lost his job due to ”mismanagement issues.” He walked out of the conference room with a brave face, but the second he looked out at the crowd of workers, depending on him, he lost it. David felt like he let them all down, showing them such a raw side of him. In both moments, he was reminded of how he used to be, and his life before he started working at MQ. 

David Brittlesbee was 11 years old when he first brought up how often his parents fought. He was in his room alone, not being able to sleep. The arguing from his parents’ bedroom was starting to make his ears ring. Even as a kid, David struggled with keeping his emotions under wraps. There were tears on his cheeks as he slowly made his way to the bedroom door, the shouting only getting more present.  


“Mom? Dad?” David had called out shakily. The voices on the other side of the door quieted, and he heard footsteps approaching. David’s dad looked down at him, clearly unhappy.  
“What is it, David?” he asked with a slight edge to his voice.  
“All the yelling was scaring me.” he replied quietly, still sniffling.  
“Speak up, son.”  
“The yelling is scaring me.” David repeated. He looked in at his mom, her arms were crossed and she had an irritated look on her face.  
“Your mother and I were just having a small disagreement, that’s all.”  
“Dad,” David continued. “You two yell at each other all the time.”  
“David, we’re fine. Now stop crying like a baby and go back to bed.”  
“But-“ David’s dad cut him off.  
“That’s enough. Boys aren’t supposed to cry.”  
David couldn’t say another word, and his Dad shut the door in his face. David didn’t leave immediately, and he could hear his parents talking about him.  
“He’s far too soft,” his mom mentioned. “If only he could just be normal, maybe our split would be easier on him.”  
“I agree,” his dad said surely. “He just needs discipline, that’ll toughen him up.”  
David could feel himself starting to cry again, and he went back to his room. He drifted off to sleep, his parents’ words still replaying in his mind.


	2. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David is reminded of a painful memory during a late shift at work. Things haven’t been the easiest for him.

David was used to working late. Muffled shouts similar to David’s parents usually came from Ian’s office, or from inside the conference room. Oftentimes, Ian and Poppy were too busy arguing to stay the whole work day. It usually was Ian who got stressed and would go home, Poppy not long after. David honestly didn’t understand how they could go so quickly from being at each other’s throats, to acting like the best of friends. When they would leave, Poppy would stick her head into Brad and David’s office, asking if they could take the night shift. She would usually leave before either of them could even answer. 

When that exact scenario happened again one night, the two men just looked at each other, before turning around and focusing on their computers. They both knew that they would end up staying for a while. He could hear the faint sounds of music playing through Brad’s headphones, it was calming. It managed to distract him for a few minutes. David often got hit with random bouts of sadness when he thought about his past. He couldn’t control when they happened or how intense they were, however. 

Like right now. 

David’s breath hitched. He felt his palms start to get sweaty and his heartbeat got louder.  
_Nononono,_ David thought. _Fuck, not here, not now._ He could feel his eyes start to sting and water. He was praying that Brad wouldn’t notice the panic attack he was starting to have. David focused on his breathing, at least for the moment.  
_Deep breaths David, deep breaths._ A few tears fell down his cheeks. He rubbed his eyes, and put a hand over his mouth in an attempt to suppress a sob.  


“Dave?” Brad interjected.  
_Fuck._ David's thoughts repeated. _He’s gonna ask what’s wrong._  
Brad kept going. “It’s almost 8:00, do you want me to order dinner?”  
David exhaled. “Yeah, that’s good.” His voice was slightly shaky, but nothing too extreme.  
“Is Thai alright with you? There’s a place right down the street.” Brad suggested, not taking his eyes off of the computer. David only gave a thumbs up in response. He heard Brad start talking on the phone, ordering their food. They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Brad got out of his chair.  


“I’m gonna go pick up the food, it’s not that far of a walk.” Brad said on his way out. “I’ll be right back.”  


With that, David was left alone. He got up from his desk once he heard the elevator doors close. He paced back and forth across their office, his heart picking up speed again. There was no stopping David from crying at this point. His parents’ harsh remarks still always echoed through his head.  


“Men don’t cry, David. You need to learn to handle things without being so _fucking_ vulnerable.” his dad would tell him.  
“David, you’re too soft. You’re never gonna be taken seriously if you act like a sissy.” his mom would add on.  
David’s breathing was only getting shallower, his muscles tensing as he continued to pace. David leaned his back against the wall next to the couch and slid down it. He tucked his knees up to his chin and put his head down. He was trying to stop hyperventilating but each sob that he let out just made him spiral even more. David touched the spot right under his left eye, his fingers felt nothing but tears, but it still stung like it had years ago. 

David Brittlesbee was 14 when his mother first hit him. It was another silent night at dinner. David’s dad at the end of the table, beer in hand, and David and his mom sat on opposite sides.  


“Mom? Dad?” David asked, breaking the silence. They both looked up at him, neither really seeming to care.  
“I want to join the theatre club.” he announced, and then regretted it immediately.  
David’s dad put down his fork, it made a clattering sound that made David flinch. He regretted doing that too.  
“Do you now?” David’s mother pried. “You want to join all of those _queers,_ David?”  
He stammered and looked down at his hands. His heart was pounding ever louder than it initially had been. Him knowing he was bisexual only made the situation worse. He couldn’t begin to explain that to his parents either.  


“I- that’s not.. I, I just thought-“  
“No. We’ve talked about this, and your father and I agree it will make you even more sensitive than you already are.”  
“Mom-“ David started, before silencing himself. He looked at his dad, who only gave him a shake of his head in response. There was a faint look of disgust behind his blank stare. David took a deep breath, hoping his parents didn’t see the tears forming in his eyes. He got up from the table.  


“That’s the only thing you can ever agree on.” David eventually said. “What _you_ think is best for me.”  
“David Brittlesbee,” his mom spat. “We _know_ what’s best for you. Why can’t you understand that?”  
“Why can’t you understand that you two are tearing me apart?”  
Anticipating a response is what drove him over the edge, and he started to cry again. At the sight of that, his dad took one last drink from his beer, and left the table without another word.  
“We’ve stayed together for your sake!” his mom shouted, rising from her chair.  
“Well maybe I’d be better off on my own!” David yelled back. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to feel like _shit_ all the time for showing any emotions!” 

David stumbled backwards with a yelp when he felt a strike across his face. His mom had her arm raised; she had hit him with the back of her hand. David reached up to his cheek and looked at the small drops of blood that came back on his fingers. His mother’s ring glinted slightly in the dining room light, the cause of the scratch that now dawned his cheek. David stormed off to his room and locked the door behind him. He sat against the back of it, letting out more sobs as he ignored the calls from behind him.  
“David!” he heard a voice yell. This time, it didn’t sound like his mom. The voice sounded very worried. 

David was snapped back to reality when he heard it again. 

He opened his eyes and they darted around the room, his vision going in and out of focus. David found himself still on the floor of the MQ office, Brad’s panicked face in front of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to kneecap david’s mom please and thank you


	3. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David gets a few things off of his chest. He wishes that Brad wasn’t witnessing his unraveling but trusts him enough to tell him the truth.

David didn’t want Brad, of all people, to see him like this. He was squeezed in between the couch and his desk, eyes red, his cheeks were flushed and stained with tears. Brad’s hands were resting gently on David’s arms as he kneeled down. He was clearly trying to hide it, but Brad looked scared.  


“How much of that did you see?” David asked anxiously. He tried to put a smile on his face but it came out as more of a grimace.  
“I came back in here and saw you sitting over here. Your eyes were shut tight and and you were hyperventilating, I didn’t know what to do, D-man.”  


David wasn’t a huge fan of nicknames, but it always made David laugh when Brad called him any. This time he wasn’t laughing, David only continued to sniffle and turned his head away.  


“Fuck,” Brad said under his breath. “I was only gone for 15 minutes. What happened?”  
“I just got kind of overwhelmed. Y’know, work stuff.” David told him as if he was on autopilot. He wasn’t technically lying about being overwhelmed, but he couldn’t bring himself to get into the real reason he was breaking down.  
“I’ve seen you get overwhelmed, this is nothing like that.”  
 _Shit,_ David thought. _Brad knows me better than I anticipated._  
“David.” Brad’s voice repeated. He sounded so sincere that it almost made David start sobbing again.  
“I don’t know if I can get into it right now. Can we maybe eat first?”  
“Yeah, of course.”

Brad helped him calm down first. They both did a few breathing exercises together, before David propped himself up against the couch. Brad brought over a few takeout containers from where they were placed on the desk, and sat down next to him. They ate mostly in silence, which only reminded David of all the dinners he had growing up. David let out a long, shaky breath and put his food down on the floor. He kept digging his nails into the sides of his arms, until Brad noticed and pulled David’s hands away gently.  


“We can talk now if you still wanna know about why I was crying.”  
Brad turned towards David. “If you want to.” 

David had mentioned his parents’ split being hard on him countless times. But he never fully got into the details of it.  


“You already know that my parents would fight all the time,” David began. “I always found a way to put a blame on myself. Sometimes, I’ll be reminded of all of the shit that went on during my childhood. It’s usually at random, tonight it sort of started because of Poppy and Ian yelling. It always hits me really hard, I just never let myself show it in front of other people. That’s another thing I developed from bad experiences within my family. So, I had just been thinking of my parents when you found me here… does that make sense?” David felt like he was talking a mile a minute, but Brad was listening intently the whole time.  
“Fuck, David. I- I don’t even know what to say. How often does this happen?” Brad asked.  
“A lot more than you’ve ever seen.” David managed. Brad was quiet for another moment.  
“If you’re comfortable answering this, what exactly would happen with you and your parents?”  


David gulped. He focused on a spot on the wall above his desk, not wanting to make eye contact with Brad. David didn’t want Brad to freak out over him squeezing his arms again, so he opted for picking at the edges of his sleeves instead.  


“They always insisted they stayed together for me, and constantly criticized me for being emotional, my dad was always drunk and my mom was always angry.” David’s hand moved to his cheek again. “She hit me a few times too. The first time was because I wanted to do theatre. The other time…” he trailed off. “was when I tried to come out to her.”  


David heard Brad inhale. Before he even knew it, Brad’s arms were wrapped around him, pulling him into the safest hug anyone had ever given him. David cried into Brad’s shoulder, gripping the back of his sweater.  


“Hey, hey,” Brad soothed. “Look at me.” David’s eyes briefly met the other man’s. He looked around the room nervously, still feeling embarrassed that Brad was witnessing this.  
“I’m here for you. With whatever you need.” David smiled and wiped his eyes again. He turned his face towards Brad again, and found himself staring for longer than he planned.  
“I don’t know if these are just my emotions messing with my head,” David said. “But I’d really like to kiss you right now.” There was a small smirk that spread across Brad’s face and David immediately moved forward and leaned into the most honest kiss he’d ever given; or received.  


“Thank you.” David said breathlessly once they pulled away. “You’re a really good friend Brad.”  
“Friends don’t just kiss each other on an impulse, Brittlesbee.” Brad laughed.  
“I think I’ve sort of been wanting to do that since you took away that divider that used to be in our office. I was too scared to confront those feelings though, I thought I would’ve lost you.”  
Brad kissed David again, this time a lot gentler. “I’m always gonna be by your side.” He rested a hand on David’s cheek, drying off a tear. Brad’s hands were soft, and David smiled as he leaned his head into Brad’s touch. 

This was exactly what he had been needing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone needed to give poor david a hug so why not have brad do it?


	4. Spending the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody at the office is surprised when Brad and David finally get together. 
> 
> Brad invites David over for dinner.

When Brad and David got together a few days after that night, nobody at the office was surprised. 

They didn’t know about David’s breakdown, but they knew what came of it. In fact, Brad and David didn’t even get to confirm it first before everyone figured it out. The two of them had been keeping it a secret for a few weeks now, and they just had to figure out the time to make an announcement. Surprisingly, Ian and Poppy actually stayed quiet throughout their weekly staff meeting while David presented. They seemed to actually be looking at David the whole time, but they also seemed preoccupied. Brad kept looking at him and smiling, every time they met eyes, David would stutter and start blushing. It was noticeable. 

At the end of the meeting, Jo spoke up.  
“Have you two been fucking?” She asked, as if it was a completely casual question. David nearly choked on his coffee and Brad stifled a laugh.  
“Jo! Wha-what?” David asked, still shocked.  
“Do you think we didn’t notice the way you two looked at each other during the entirety of the meeting?” Ian cut in. David’s cheeks grew hot and he felt Brad’s eyes on him again.  
“Well we’re not.. we’re not _fucking,_ ” David confirmed in a harsh whisper. “But we are, uh…”  
Brad finished the sentence for him.  
“We’re dating. Boyfriends, to be more specific.”  
David nodded, still feeling sheepish.  
“Well, congrats to you both, and I actually mean that sincerely,” Ian stated. “Is that all for today?”  
“Uh, yep. Meeting adjourned.” David walked out of the conference room, side by side with Brad.  


“That’s not how I expected that to go.” David confessed once they got into their office. Brad sat down at his desk.  
“Same here.” Brad told him. “But hey, we don’t really have to worry about that part anymore.”  
“That’s true.”  
“Do you want to have dinner at my place  
tonight?” Brad suggested.  
“I’d love to.”  
“Perfect. It’s a date!”  
David shot Brad a smile and went back to work.

Brad’s apartment was large, and a lot nicer than David’s. They usually spent evenings at David’s house. He had been here at Brad’s a few times, only ever on work-related occasions. But now he was on a date. With _Brad Bakshi._ His _boyfriend._ The last time he was able to call someone that was… David shook his head. That wasn’t what he needed to focus on right now. He neatened his hair and checked his reflection in the mirror of his car. He stood on the steps of Brad’s building, clicking the button on the intercom.  


“Who is it?” Brad’s voice crackled.  
“Take a guess.” David said, and he heard a buzz. The door unlocked and he made his way inside. David knocked, and was greeted with a kiss from Brad. He invited David in and closed the door behind them. Brad looked great, he had on a navy blue button up with his sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His hair was slightly unkempt, but to an extent where it looked like it was on purpose. 

David must have been staring because Brad waved his hand in front of his face.  
“You okay?” Brad asked, studying David warily. David had noticed that Brad acted more careful around David ever since the night at the office. He didn’t fully like that Brad was treating him differently, but he tried not to dwell on it too much.  
“Yeah,” David reassured. “Just thinking.”  
“About?”  
“You. And that you look really hot right now.”  
Brad smiled at that. He put one hand on the back of David’s neck and pulled him into another kiss.  
“You ready to eat?” He asked, still smiling. David nodded. Brad had already set the table, and the two men sat down.  


“I didn’t know you could cook.” David said as he twirled the spaghetti around his fork.  
“My mom taught me.” Brad told him. “I know tons of traditional Polish dishes too.”  
“You’ll have to cook for me more often. Tonight has been great so far, Brad.”  
“I’m glad you think so.”  
Brad reached across the table and intertwined his fingers with David’s. They finished their meal and Brad took their empty bowls to the kitchen.  
Brad came and popped his head back into the dining room.  


“Do you want to spend the night?” Brad proposed. “We can rent a movie or something.”  
David agreed.

They settled down in Brad’s room, flicking through the TV on his wall to find something to watch. They were no longer in their dress clothes, David was down to a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt, that both belonged to Brad. Brad in his boxers and an old t-shirt as well. David’s arms were around Brad’s waist, Brad had his arm around David’s shoulders, his cheek against David’s head. 

David was relieved to have someone with him. Spending so many nights alone had eventually started to take its toll. Being on his own was never easy, it only reminded him of the nights after his divorce, when his wife would sleep in the bed and left David on the couch. Or when he first got his own place after they split, the house was too quiet without another person living with him. Or when his parents would be too busy fighting to come and say goodnight. David found himself nestling his head further into Brad’s chest, holding him tighter. David wanted this moment to last forever. Brad looked at him, with a glint of worry behind his eyes still.  


“I can’t find anything good.” he said.  
“It’s starting to get late anyways.” David replied, starting to yawn. He tilted his face up towards Brad, who met him in the middle with a kiss. David sat up more, pressing his lips further into Brad’s and opening them slightly. Brad clearly got the hint, as he continued to kiss David more passionately. The two of them were both sitting upright and moving closer to each other. They would both pull away to catch their breath, but dove right back into making out. Brad moved his hands down David’s torso, David’s hands up near Brad’s hair. Brad attempted to pull David onto his lap, placing his hands on David’s hips. David froze. Brad pulled away when he noticed that David had stopped too.  


“What’s wrong?” Brad questioned, his eyes scanning David’s face. David touched his fingers to his right leg and tried to keep himself from cringing. The scars that littered his side were healed over, but still visible. He didn’t want Brad to see them and freak out.  
“I just don’t think I’m ready to do this.” David confessed. “I like kissing you, a lot, but uh, I think I need to hold off on anything more.” Brad nodded, giving David an understanding smile.  
“That’s okay. Sorry if I was going too fast.” Brad apologized.  
“No, no, it’s not your fault. There’s just…” David quieted at the end of the sentence.  
“You don’t have to explain yourself if you still need more time, David. I’m okay with taking things slower.”  
David smiled, resting back into Brad’s arms.  


“Should we get some sleep?” David asked.  
“I think that’s smart.” Brad planted another quick peck on David’s lips.  
“Goodnight, Brad.”  
“Goodnight, David.”  


David couldn’t stop himself from tracing his fingers along his own sides. He made an effort to keep his breathing steady, not wanting to wake Brad. He just wanted to forget about everything that happened before he got the job at MQ, before he met Brad. David managed to drift off to sleep, subconsciously gripping Brad’s shirt tighter in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will elaborate some more on david’s past


	5. 1995

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David has a nightmare; it’s another flashback but this time it’s to the worst night of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has lots of homophobia (internalized too), language, physical/verbal abuse, and some brief mentions of blood throughout it. 
> 
> if you are uncomfortable reading any of that i’m putting a small summary in the end notes of this chapter that you can catch yourself up with.

David Brittlesbee was 17 years old when he came out to his mom. His back was pressed to his bedroom door, it was locked, but he wanted to eliminate any chances of anyone coming in. David’s hip and the sides of his thigh were hastily bandaged. He had managed to get all the shards of glass out of them, but they hurt like hell. Tears stung David’s eyes, and every time he tried to blink them away, they’d just come pouring out harder.  


_Your parents are right,_ David’s thoughts hissed at him. _You’re a fucking wimp, David. You cry too much, David. Nobody will ever love you, David._  
He believed it. He didn’t want to, but after years and years of being told nothing else, there weren’t many other options.  


It had all started at dinner less than an hour before.  


“So, David,” his mother spoke. “Are you planning on bringing anyone to prom this year?” David swallowed.  
“Oh, I don’t know yet.” he lied, poking the food on his plate with his fork. 

“I’m sure any girl would be lucky to go with you.” David clenched and unclenched his fists as they continued to eat dinner.  
_Rip it off like a Band-Aid,_ he told himself. _You’ll be fine._ He was having a hard time believing his own words.  


“Actually I did have an idea of who to take to prom with me.” David blurted. There was no going back now. David’s mother turned towards him, a curious look in her eye. David stared back at her and he went into panic mode. A tear rolled down his cheek before he could get another word out.  


“David, again with the crying?” David’s mom complained. “I figured you would’ve grown out of this by now. I don’t understand why you can never just talk normally.” Her voice was getting more sharp as she continued. She had started to get up and collect their dishes off of the table. David let out a sniffle and a very shaky exhale.  


“I want to bring my boyfriend, Mom. I’m bisexual.” 

The words were out, and so were more of David’s tears. David’s mom dropped both the plates she had in her hands onto the floor. They shattered on impact, and that was the only noise that was heard for minutes, other than David’s rapid breathing.  
“ _What._ ” she bit. David wished he hadn’t said anything. She only continued to raise her voice.  
“This is not how you were raised, David! I didn’t spend years taking care of you for you to turn out a queer!” David’s heartbeat felt as loud as the plates that smashed.  
“I’m sorry.” David started.  
“‘Sorry’ doesn’t cut it!” She yelled, giving David a shove. “I raised you to be strong, I put up with your father and all your over-emotional antics and this is the thanks I get!”  
She walked around the other side of the table, and was backing David up towards where she had originally been sitting. David tried to protest again but she only shoved him harder. He went down quickly, landing directly on the broken glass that covered the floor. David cried out. His mom turned on her heels and slammed the front door behind her. David winced as he attempted to stand, leaning heavily against the dining room table.  


“Fuck.” he said through a choked sob. The pain was almost unbearable; tons of sharp stings engulfed his right hip. He made his way to the bathroom, and pulled up the leg of his shorts. There were a dozen cuts along his side, most of them bleeding, others just scrapes. They weren’t deep enough that he’d need stitches, but David knew even then that they would scar. He carefully picked out any of the pieces of glass that were embedded in his skin. When he was sure he got the last shard out, he took some deep breaths, trying to focus on anything other than the blood on his legs. David was no medic, but he did his best to bandage himself up before leaving the bathroom and changing his clothes. His mom was still gone, and David didn’t know where she went.  


_You probably aren’t even really bi. You just wanted to see if you could get a reaction out to your mom._ David’s mind continued to scold him. _She’s right, she didn’t raise you this way. It’s wrong in every fashion. It’s a choice, and you should be ashamed._  
“Shut up.” David said out loud. He opened the front door, and grabbed his bike from the driveway. 

It was late at night, and David’s leg hurt the more he pedaled, but he needed to get out. David didn’t have his Dad’s new address (not that he’d go there anyways), all of his friends lived too far away, so there was one place he could bring himself to go to; Jason’s house. 

David knocked frantically on his boyfriend’s bedroom window. He was thankful that Jason didn’t live in a two-story house. David shifted back and forth nervously as Jason opened the window.  


“David?” he asked. “Babe, it’s almost midnight what is going on?”  
“Can I come in?” David immediately answered.  
“Yeah, go around front. I’ll unlock the door.”  
David sped off towards the front door and wrapped his arms around Jason when he opened it. Jason was skinny, so it was easy to wrap all of him into a hug. David pulled away and Jason brushed a few tears off of his cheek. They walked into Jason’s room and sat on the bed, hands still intertwined.  


“David, what happened?”  
“I tried to come out to my mom. We argued. She shoved me, and I landed on a broken plate.” David managed through even more crying. He showed Jason the bandages on his leg after he explained everything.  
“What the fuck? David that’s…” Jason continued to rub David’s back in slow circles, but it was obvious he was disturbed.  
“I love you. Remember that, okay?” Jason said.  
“I… I love you too.” That was true, but something in the back of David’s mind was bothering him. Jason kept speaking but David’s own thoughts drowned everything else out. 

_You shouldn’t be feeling this way. Listen to your mom, you’re a sad excuse for a son. Feeling attraction to guys is sick, he doesn’t even love you anyways._

Jason tilted David’s head up by putting a finger underneath his chin. He leaned forward, kissing David urgently. David’s thoughts were still beating him up, and Jason started moving himself further onto David, opening his mouth more. He put his hands on the bed on either side of David’s legs. Jason moved his hands and tugged at David’s shirt, attempting to take it off. David pulled away.  


“Babe, what’s-”  
David stood and started pacing back and forth.  
“Jason, this is wrong. _We’re wrong._ I’ve always been told that it’s.. it’s unnatural to be this way.”  
“Come on, you can’t mean that. Just come back over here for a few minutes, I bet I can change your mind.” Jason said with a slight smirk. David didn’t like the implications of that.  
“No. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t wanna feel what I feel for you.”  
“Please, David. You’re overreacting.”  
“I’m overreacting? I got hurt by my mother tonight, Jason! I came over here for reassurance and comfort, but when I said I felt bad about liking guys, you tried to talk me out of it with what.. _sex!?_ I don’t want this to be who I am anymore! We’re done.” David spouted. He had never yelled at Jason before. His eyes stung again, which made him feel worse. He was still too emotional about… everything.  


“I need to leave.” David announced before running out of Jason’s house. 

He could barely see as he rode home, but he discarded his bike in the driveway the second he made it there. His mom’s car was still gone. David walked into his room and locked the door behind him. He pressed his back to it, keeping anything unwanted. He buried his head in his hands and silently cursed out everything. He broke up with his boyfriend, fought with his mom, and tried to force himself to stop liking guys all within a matter of hours. David heard the front door open and shut, followed by a pair of footsteps going down the hall. They stopped outside of his room, but then carried on. David flinched at the sound of his mother’s bedroom door slamming. His whole body tensed, finding himself scratching at the bandages on his legs. They had started to bleed more, but David decided he would rather feel something physical instead of the war in his own head. Everything was painful and exhausting. He closed his eyes and took as many deep breaths as he could, slowing the effects of his panic attack. David could only hear one thing in his mind. 

_This is your fault._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> summary- David suggests bringing his boyfriend, Jason, to prom. He tells his mom that he’s bisexual and they get into a fight. She is shocked at first and drops a few plates that shatter on the floor. She shoves David and he trips, falling onto the glass, cutting the side of his right leg. David’s mom leaves the house, David bandages his leg, and bikes to Jason’s house. He rants to Jason about everything and lets it all out of his system. Jason tries coming onto David, he freaks out and Jason tells him that’s he’s overreacting. David says that liking guys is wrong and he can’t be like this anymore. David ends their relationship and leaves, still coming home to an empty house
> 
> this chapter was very sad but i promise it gets better soon :)


	6. Don’t Freak Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David wakes up and is immediately overcome with emotion. Brad is there to comfort him, and David confesses everything. The failed attempt at coming out, Jason, and the scars. He just hopes Brad won’t leave.

David sat bolt upright and felt like he was going to die. He still felt physically and emotionally hurt. His vision was blurred, both his head and his heart were pounding, and he couldn’t stop sweating. Everything that he had just remembered felt like it was happening to him again in real time. His legs hurt, his heart ached, he was 17 and crying on his bedroom floor again. He was alone. 

David’s hands shook violently as he reached over to the spot of the bed next to him. He grabbed nothing but blankets. Now here he was again, unable to do anything but panic. David looked at the clock on the wall and was able to see a _3:45._ He found his voice and tried calling out again.  


“Brad?” his voice was broken and unsteady.  
“David?” Brad responded from another room. “Is everything good?” David swung his legs out of bed as he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. He stood up and stumbled towards the other side of the room. 

About halfway there his knees buckled and he fell forward. He heard the footsteps speed up and Brad caught him.  
“Hey, hey, hey.” Brad hushed. “I’m right here.” David cried into Brad’s shoulder as they sat, arms wrapped around each other. Brad kept kissing the top of David’s head, continuing to comfort him. Once David had calmed himself, and was able to breathe again, Brad got up to get him a glass of water. He turned on the light when he came back in.  


“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” Brad broke the silence with a gentle tone to his voice.  
David nodded, and began to explain. He talked about the “nightmare” he had right before he had woken up. It was more of an overwhelming memory than anything else. He explained breaking up with Jason and how little contact he kept with his mom soon after that night. How he had moved out the second he turned 18. Brad held David’s hand throughout the entirety of him talking, occasionally giving it a squeeze. Brad was the first person who ever actually listened. He didn’t interrupt or make David feel embarrassed; he just listened.  
“Is your leg okay?” Brad eased. “I’ve noticed that you flinch every time something touches your hip.”  
“It‘s fine now, but I just feel self-conscious about it sometimes.”  
“About what?”  
_Shit. I guess I’m explaining this now._

“Just promise you won’t freak out anymore than you probably are, okay?”  
Brad nodded. David managed to get himself up and sit on the end of the bed. He breathed out and moved the waistband of his sweatpants, showing Brad the faded scars along his right side.  


“Fuck,” Brad said under his breath. “Did your mom..”  
“The night that I came out to her,” David hesitated. “She um, she had dropped a few dinner plates and… and at one point she shoved me. I fell onto the glass, which cut my legs pretty badly.” Brad didn’t say anything, so David kept going.  
“It’s not all her fault. I- would keep scratching at them just out of habit, so.. so they got worse and kept scarring over.” David absentmindedly ran his nails back and forth across the scars, not that it would do anything, but it felt familiar. Brad grabbed David’s hand and gave it another squeeze.  


“Fuck, David, you’re not to blame here” Brad soothed.  
“I was just scared that you would freak out. Like my mom did, like my ex-wife did… like Jason did.” David acknowledged.  
“Can I hold you?” Brad asked. “It’s fine if you’d rather have some space though.”  


David nodded after the first part of that sentence. Brad pulled David into a tight embrace. One of Brad’s arms was around David’s back, the other cradling the back of his neck. David kept his head buried in Brad’s shoulder, arms around his waist. David’s breathing had steadied, and he actually felt a smile spread across his face. It was the first time he had genuinely smiled in hours.  


“Hey Dave?” Brad asked softly. “You think you’re ready to go back to bed now? I know it’s past 4am but it’s better than nothing.”  
“I guess so.” David said. Brad got up and turned out the light, before lying in bed next to David.  
“Thank you. For listening. And overall just being amazing.” David whispered.  
“I’m always gonna be here for you.” Brad whispered in return. 

David kissed him and didn’t pull away until he ran out of breath. He turned on his side and Brad wrapped his arms around David’s waist, tangling their legs together in a complicated, yet comfortable, position. He lightly pressed his cheek into David’s back as they both closed their eyes. David fell asleep nearly instantly, the feeling of someone holding him was something he hadn’t had in a long time. _Too_ long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brad would be the greatest boyfriend and i stand by that statement
> 
> you’re officially halfway through this fic! thank you for reading this far, it’s been quite a rollercoaster


	7. More Time Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad and David have moved in together, and David thinks about all the things he loves about Brad.
> 
> David thinks he sees a familiar face when they’re out on a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is sort of a transitional chapter just to set up the next plot point, but i wanted to write about brad a little bit so here it is

3 months later, David moved in. He barely ever spent a night alone while they were together. At first it was slow, David would end up leaving more and more of his belongings at Brad’s apartment every time he stayed over. But then one day while they were sitting in their office, eating their lunch together, David got an idea. David was at his desk, Brad sitting cross-legged on top of it. He looked at Brad, who smiled.  


“What if he moved in together?” David suggested. “We pretty much spend every night together now anyways.”  
Brad’s eyes seemed to lighten at the idea.  
“My apartment is plenty big enough.” He chimed.  
David grinned.  
“Let’s do it.” Brad confirmed. 

David was surprised that he said yes so easily. Having known Brad for over 2 years, David knew that he always wanted things his own way. Brad was very particular about decisions he made, and a lot of the time he’d dispute an idea just to piss people off. But there was something different this time. Brad seemed to genuinely like the concept of living together, and that made David very happy. He leaned up for a kiss, Brad giving him a quick peck on the lips. He was always a lot more shy about the love he expressed towards David when they were at work. It was one of the many things that David had come to learn about being Brad’s boyfriend. 

David gazed at Brad and thought about all the other things he picked up on about him throughout their relationship. 

He guarded himself a lot, most things that David got to see in him were never shown at work. Like the glasses he sometimes wore, or his obsession with DuckTales. More often than not, if they couldn’t find anything to watch, Brad would immediately put on DuckTales. He would lay his head on David’s lap and they would sit and watch together. 

Another thing was Brad _really_ liked when people played with his hair. Whenever David ran his fingers through it, Brad would hum and push his head back against them. So David did it whenever he could. When Brad was sitting at his desk and David would walk up behind him, when they were making out, or when they were simply cuddling at home. 

David concluded that his favorite thing about Brad was how affectionate he was. Brad was never big on PDA, only ever giving short kisses or a hand on the knee. But when they were alone, he wasn’t exactly the “hands-off” type. It was rare if Brad’s arms weren’t around David, or their fingers weren’t intertwined, or if Brad wasn’t lying on top of his boyfriend. He liked to plant kisses along David’s neck, going from his jawline all the way down to his collarbones. Brad seemed to do this at any chance he got. David always appreciated the physical contact, even if he didn’t get as much of any when they weren’t by themselves. 

The two of them lived together now, and things were going incredibly well. David’s nightmares and panic attacks became less common, but Brad was always there for him whenever it did happen. Sharing an apartment was something David hadn’t done in years, not since his wife divorced him. 

But being with Brad was different, it felt more natural, like they were meant to be together. He never really believed in soulmates until Brad Bakshi came into his life. Everyday, he got to wake up next to him, if not in his arms. Then he’d get to go to work with him, and come home at the same time as him. Most people would think they’d get sick of each other, but David couldn’t be more content. 

They were walking back from lunch one day, both deciding they needed to get away from the office for their break. They were holding hands as they went, talking about office gossip or whatever they felt like talking about. A woman went walking past and bumped into David. He turned his head slightly as she kept going, not even stopping to say sorry or anything. David kept looking over his shoulder but he couldn’t see where she had gone.  


“What the fuck was her deal?” Brad asked as they kept going. David didn’t answer, he kept his eyes towards the ground.  
“Dave?” Brad spoke again. “Are you okay?”  
“What? Yeah I’m fine. She just looked..” David paused. “..familiar.”  
Brad seemed concerned. “Is that all?”  
“She kind of, um, looked like my mom. But it’s probably just a coincidence.” David shot Brad a nervous smile and looked down at the ground. Brad rubbed his thumb against the back of David’s knuckles, something he always did to calm him down. It wasn’t really working. 

They stepped off the elevator together, David still feeling jumpy. Ian ran up to them.  


“David!” He called. “Some lady came in here before, she was looking for you.” David’s heartbeat picked up.  
“Um, uh, what lady? Like, what did she look like?” He stammered.  
“She was probably about 60, blonde, looked a little bit like you actually.” Ian described. “She had an envelope to give you that I put on your desk.”  
“Right, thanks.”  


Ian gave a two-fingered salute and walked off. David almost fully ran back to his office, Brad following close behind. He was obviously a little confused as to what was going on, and why David seemed so on edge. David approached his desk and saw a small blue envelope sitting near his keyboard. He picked it up with a shaky hand and read it carefully. 

_David,_

_I found out that you’ve been working here for quite some time, and figured this was the easiest way to contact you. I know it’s been a long time, but I wanted to see if we could reconnect. I’ll write my number below._

_-Mom_

“What is it?” Brad questioned.  
David took a deep breath.  
“It’s a note from my mom,” he coughed out. “She said she wants to see me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to comment any other brad headcanons you have! 
> 
> i personally love the glasses one and the fact that he’s super affectionate


	8. Coming and Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David responds to his mom’s offer. Are they really going to reconnect after all these years?

David surprised himself by responding to her. It was even more surprising that he actually agreed to meet her again. David didn’t get along well with her, that much was obvious. He wasn’t sure if he was thinking clearly. 

Did his mom actually want to reconnect with him? Was she finally going to apologize after all these years? 

After a long time thinking it over and many, _many,_ talks with Brad, David reached out. He didn’t know if he was ready to actually talk to her again, so he sent a text, inviting her over for dinner. He had time to plan what he would say, and how he thought it would be seeing his mom again. 

That was a week ago, and David was still in a panic. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, his hair still wet from the shower. David’s mind started to wander as he focused on the situation he was in. 

David Brittlesbee was 18 when he last talked to his mom. After that one awful night, they barely interacted for the next few weeks. David would often come home to an empty house, making sure he was in his room by the time his mom pulled in. He never knew where she went during the afternoons, some nights she wouldn’t even come back at all. Living with someone and never talking to them was… uncomfortable, to say the least. 

One night, David was sitting in his room, which wasn’t unusual. His mom was home but she stayed out in the dining room. David had music playing softly from the record player in the corner of his room, and he hummed along. He stood up quietly and began to dance slowly in the middle of his room. For once, he was able to ignore his surroundings. David felt himself smile and he closed his eyes. 

He didn’t even notice his bedroom door opening until his music shut off. David snapped around and saw his mom by his record player. She looked irritated, but that look was always plastered on her face.  


“David, I think we need to have a talk about something.” She said abruptly.  
“Okay, whatever.” David said, sitting back on the bed. His mom pinched the bridge of her nose, and took a breath.  
“Your 18th birthday is next week, and I want you to move out as soon as you can.”  
David was speechless. It’s not like he hadn’t expected this to happen at some point, he wanted to leave already. But this was still a surprise.  
“Why?” He choked out.  
“People in the neighborhood know that you..” she trailed off, she was never able to finish the sentence. “But I’ve gotten sick of the talk, so I think it’s best if you go on your own.”  
“Oh,” David swallowed. “Okay.” 

David’s mom sighed once more and walked out of the room. He would probably have to crash on one of his friends’ couches until he could figure out something more permanent. 

David was astonishingly calm, considering his mom pretty much just kicked him out. 

He spent the next week packing, slowly and slowly adding more things to his bags. David spent the majority of his birthday at the arcade, not wanting to deal with anymore awkward conversations with his mom. 

The next day, he left. 

His mom seemed almost shocked that he was going so soon. David’s friend was in his car outside, and was the one giving him a place to stay. David stood in the doorway, his mom coming down the hall. She started to come towards him, as if she was gonna pull him into a hug. But David just backed up more.  


“Bye, Mom.”  
With just those two words, he was out the door and on his way to starting his own life. 

David was shaken from his memories from a knock on the door. He was no longer in his childhood home, but rather the bathroom of his apartment.  


“David?” Brad called through the door. “Are you almost ready?”  
“Yeah, I guess so.”  


David smoothed his checkered button up and brushed his hair away from his face. He was about to see his mom for the first time in 25 years, so he wanted to at least look presentable. 

David opened the door and was ambushed by a long-lasting kiss from Brad. His hands cupped either side of David’s jaw as David made a noise of surprise at the sudden feeling of Brad up against him. Brad pulled away and looked flustered, but probably not nearly as flustered as David.  


“I love you,” Brad blurted. “I’ve wanted to tell you since we started dating. I’ve just never been good at talking about my feelings and what’s on my mind, but I really want tonight to go well, and in case things don’t, I thought I should at least start things out on a positive note.” Brad’s face had changed from looking nervous, to a look of disbelief, to relaxed by the time he finished speaking.  
“I love you too.” David replied. He kissed Brad again, feeling him smile into it. David’s watch beeped.  


“Is dinner almost ready? My mom should be here in around 10 minutes.”  
“Yeah, I just need a few more minutes.” 

Brad was making his “famous” spaghetti and meatballs, something him and David often had on special occasions. David took one last look in the mirror and followed Brad out into the kitchen. He was standing at the stove, mixing the sauce and the pasta together.  


“The meatballs are still cooking, but other than that, we’re ready.” He called, David came up behind him and linked his arms around Brad’s waist, hooking his chin over Brad’s shoulder. David swayed back and forth gently as Brad moved with him. Brad reached over and put a dollop of sauce on David’s nose, causing them both to start laughing. 

A buzz interrupted them. Brad walked over and had a very brief conversation through the intercom. Then, he hit the button, unlocking the front door to the building. David wiped the sauce off of his nose and took a big breath. He was immediately feeling more weighed down with stress when it dawned on him that his estranged mother was actually on her way to their apartment. Brad came back and gave David a kiss on the cheek.  


“How do I look?” David asked, shaking his hands out.  
“Breathe, David. You look perfect.” Brad assured him, before pausing. “What about me?”  
David studied Brad intently. He was wearing a black sweater with a white collared shirt underneath, similar to something he’d wear to work. David was in awe that someone so, _breathtaking,_ was his boyfriend.  


“Equally as perfect.” David kissed him again quickly, trying to keep his heart from fully beating out of his chest. 

There was a knock on the door, and David felt like he was going to faint. He was running his fingers over his leg again, still having no effect other than it being an old habit. David was immediately reminded of everything that went wrong when he was growing up, and he started second-guessing his decision of letting her come for dinner. But it was too late now, and his legs were carrying him to the entrance. He turned around once more, where he was met with a smile from Brad. 

David opened the door, and was overwhelmed by different emotions the second he laid eyes on his mom. She looked pretty much the same, except her hair was longer and there were more wrinkles on her face. Her eyes were the same shade of blue as David’s, them both having an array of freckles that dusted their cheeks.  


“Hi Mom.” David said, trying to not stare for too long.  
“Hi David.”  


There wasn’t any turning back after this, but his mind continued to bite at him.  


_Why would you want to meet with the woman who ruined your life in more ways than one?_ His thoughts interrogated. 

David ignored the doubts in his head and stepped to the side slightly. He gave his mom a very brief smile, gesturing past himself.  


“Come on in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to get some braddavid domesticity in there somewhere, therefore the short scene of them in the kitchen was written


	9. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad, David, and David’s mom have a dinner together. David notices new things about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i really don’t like david’s mom, even though i technically created her in this scenario, but this felt important to the story.

David’s mom walked around slowly, taking in their apartment. He had a suspicion that she was silently judging his and Brad’s taste but David tried not to think too much of it. This was completely and utterly nerve-racking. David kept his hands clamped together so she didn’t pick up on how much he was shaking. Brad emerged from the kitchen and wandered over in their direction. David’s mom turned around and gave David a confused look.  


“Mom, this is Brad. He’s my…” David’s voice cracked. “Roommate.”  
They shook hands and Brad shot David a nervous glance. David mouthed “not yet” back to him. Brad nodded.  


“It’s nice to meet you.” He added.  


David’s nerves were still getting the best of him. He didn’t know if he’d come out to his mom again, maybe if things went well they could talk about it another time. Tonight, David just wanted to focus on having a positive reconciliation. 

Regardless, his eyes kept scanning the apartment for any tell-tale signs of his relationship with Brad. David glanced at his phone, not used to seeing his lockscreen as a blank background. He liked his old one a lot better, it being a photo of him and Brad that Poppy had taken at work. 

_It had been a very long day, and Brad was relaxing on the couch in their office. He was fully sprawled out, his legs propped up on the armrest. David got up from his desk and stretched, shuffling his way over to Brad._  


_“Room for one more?” David had asked._

_Brad grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down onto the couch. Brad made a slight grunting noise when David landed, not used to having the weight be on top of him. David placed himself in between the back of the couch and Brad’s left side. He put his head on Brad’s chest and draped his arm around his lower torso. Brad adjusted himself so that his cheek was pressed into the top David’s head, and so both of his arms hugged David’s shoulders, bringing him closer. David closed his eyes and felt Brad let out a deep, yet peaceful, sigh. His thumb rubbed against the side of David’s arm very slowly._

_Their office door was closed, otherwise Brad would have_ never _been this physical._

_They didn’t plan on it, but they fell asleep in that position. Poppy had walked in while they were napping. She grabbed Brad’s phone off of his desk and took a quick picture, later confessing to David that she thought they looked adorable. Brad and David both liked the photo a lot, so David set it as his phone screen._

David smiled to himself, not realizing he had zoned out until he heard the oven timer ding.  


“Dinner’s ready.” Brad chimed. He was being very upbeat for once, it was almost something David didn’t recognize. 

Brad wasn’t a people person, that was obvious, but he had been talking exclusively to David’s mom for a solid few minutes. That was more than David could still even manage. He didn’t understand how he could still be such a coward, even after all this time.  


“David? Can you help me in the kitchen?” Brad requested. David nodded.  
“Mom, you can sit in the dining room now if you want.” David told her.  
“You’re so grown now.” She responded. They smiled at each other again, not really having much else to say. David found Brad in the kitchen and let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.  


“This is so awkward,” David complained, keeping his voice low. “I feel like there’s so much I should say and that I should forgive her or apologize or do something other than just sitting and doing nothing. I just can’t bring myself to say anything that’s longer than a sentence.”  


David could feel his eyes start to sting slightly but he didn’t let himself cry. Not here, not now.  
“David, babe, listen to me.” Brad spoke sternly but still matched David’s hushed tone. “You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to, and you certainly don’t have to apologize.”  
“I know. Thank you.” David shot a nervous glance over to the general direction of the dining room and Brad gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

He handed David a bowl to bring to his mom, and David’s hands were still so shaky he thought he might drop it. Brad followed shortly behind him, bringing the rest of the food too. 

They all sat down together and had a rather peaceful conversation. David didn’t want his nerves getting the best of him, so he kept his ankle hooked around Brad’s under the table. It wasn't as much physicality as he would like, but it was all they could do in the situation. 

David’s mom mainly asked about MQ and the details of both of their jobs. She seemed reluctant to talk about anything about her personal life. David studied her as she fidgeted with the rings on her fingers. The light reflected off of one of them, the same small ring with a gemstone in the middle, the same one that left a mark on David’s face. His eyes drifted towards another ring on her other hand, it looked suspiciously a lot like a wedding band. David didn’t have time to dwell on it because he was brought back to reality by his mother’s voice. The sudden change in volume from them all eating in silence to his mom speaking made David flinch.  


“Brad, dinner was delicious,” she thanked, turning towards David slightly afterwards. “I really enjoyed this evening.”  
“Thank you, Ms. Brittlesbee.” Brad said in response.  
“It’s actually _Mrs. Carter_ now, but you can just call me Katherine.” David’s heart dropped. 

The ring on her finger _was_ a wedding band. He had no idea that she’d remarried. For once, he was able to state the thoughts in his mind.  


“I.. I didn’t know you remarried.” David said, trying but failing to hide the shakiness of his voice.  
“Oh, yeah. We only decided to get married when Shelby was born in 1997.” She said with a laugh and a gesture to her hand. 

That made David’s stomach flip; 1997 was barely even 2 years after David moved out. Did she really move on that quickly?  
David tried to speak again but the words got caught in his throat. He took a few deep breaths and collected himself.  


“Shelby?” David asked to clarify.  
“David, oh my God. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. You have a half-sister.”  


David sat in stunned silence. He caught a glimpse of Brad out of the corner of his eye and saw him with the same look of surprise on his face.  


“Mom, you kicked me out in 1995. Did you really have another kid that quickly?”  
“David, I don’t think ‘kicked out’ is the right term to use. Do we have to be having this conversation right here?” She tilted her head towards Brad. David realized that she didn’t want to talk about this while Brad was in the room.  


“Yes, I think we do. Anything you say in front of me, you can say in front of Brad.” 

David looked to Brad for reassurance and got a nod in response. It didn’t seem like much, but David knew that Brad would stand by his side the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song Do Not Wait by Wallows reminds me so much of David and i wrote this before i had ever heard the song


	10. The Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation from dinner starts to escalate, and David doesn’t know how much longer he can keep quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title of this chapter was not an intentional reference to danny pudi’s movie, but i did realize afterwards and kept it the same

“Alright, fine.” David’s mother stated, the bitterness that he was so accustomed to was slipping through. “After you left, I thought that it would be healthiest for me to settle down again. I figured you would’ve done that too by now.”  


She didn’t know about David’s divorce, or even his marriage in the first place. David felt a pang in his chest, and he was starting to get more agitated.  


“I at least have an apartment and a steady job!” David exclaimed, trying to keep himself from fully shouting. “What more is there?”  
“David-“ his mom began, giving him a sympathetic look. David cut her off.  
“What is it? I want to know.”  
“I don’t know, I expected you to have a family! A wife, maybe a few kids! This,” she said, gesturing around them. “is not settling down. Knowing how, _confused,_ you were when you were a teenager, living with another man doesn’t look the best for you.”  


David bit his tongue. She seemed to have taken the silence as a cue to keep going.  
“I just wanted you to end up normal. I wanted you to end up with a woman who made you happy.”  


That was the last straw for David. He reached over and grabbed Brad’s hand.  


“Well y’know what? I _am_ happy, and I am happy in my relationship with Brad! I love him more than anything. I’m bisexual, Mom, I always have been.” 

The words were out, and it was his mom’s turn to be silent. 

She stood up, so did David. A few tears rolled down his cheeks, but he didn’t wipe them away. He didn’t even feel sad, he only felt angry.  


“What was the reason that you wanted to meet up again? Was it to scold me on not having a wife or a family? To make me feel bad for all the shit that _you_ put me through? All the verbal and physical abuse that I had to endure?”  


“David, I think you’re blowing things out of proportion again,” she snapped. “You’re letting your emotions get the best of you.”  


“This is what I’m talking about! I am always somehow the one at fault here. You’re not innocent either, Mom, you’ve fucked up too! You had your only son leave his whole life behind just because you didn’t want to accept that he likes guys!”  


David’s shouting was silenced when his mom struck him. He nearly fell over his chair as he staggered backwards, and his hand instinctively went up to cover his face. Brad practically lunged out of his seat and rushed to David’s side. David touched his lip and wasn’t surprised when he noticed it was bleeding. David looked at Brad, back down at his fingers, and over to his mom. Her glare was unforgiving.  


“Get out of our house.” He spoke, his voice coming out as just above a half-broken whisper. His mom continued to stare.  
“Speak up.” She demanded. David made direct eye contact with her.  


“Get the fuck out of our house!” He yelled, still slightly taken aback by the power of his own words. His mother stalked away, slamming the door behind her. 

Brad led David over to the couch, sitting him down. He kept an eye on David as he walked over to the freezer and brought some ice for David’s split lip. 

David had been attempting to keep a brave face on, but when Brad sat back down and handed him the ice, everything came spilling out. He reached out for Brad and was being held in a heartbeat. Brad’s arms wrapped around David’s shoulders, one of his hands reaching up to stroke the back of David’s head. He balled up his fists into the soft fabric of Brad’s sweater, getting the emotions he had been hiding all day out of his system. 

David felt Brad shaking too, as he continued to hold David close to him; obviously Brad’s feelings couldn’t stay in forever either. They sat and held each other, both silently communicating that they never wanted to let go. David eventually reduced his sobbing into just shaky breaths and hiccups, but he closed his eyes and pushed his face further into Brad’s chest. His lip wasn’t bleeding anymore, but it was still sore. David pulled back slightly and Brad let go of him, still keeping a hand on his leg.  


“I stood up to her,” David said. He was still in disbelief that he had yelled so much, and that the whole evening event to shit within a matter of minutes. “And I did it because I love you, Brad. I couldn’t stand her talking about us how she did, and I didn’t want you to panic.”  


Brad let out a breath through his nose, a laugh, if you will.  
“You did the right thing, David.”  


Brad’s eyes were staring into his, with a look of pure appreciation behind them. David leaned forward to kiss him but cut it short when it hurt his lip. He put the icepack on it again. Brad smiled and kissed David’s forehead instead. And then again on his cheek. David smiled back, leaning his head on Brad’s shoulder.  


“I still can’t believe that that happened.” David announced.  
“Which part?” Brad asked. David hesitated for a moment.  
“All of it. But I’m just happy that I can have you with me, being able to call you mine.”  
Brad scoffed sarcastically, “Since when was I yours? I’m the one who’s all about owning people.”  
David laughed at that.  
“But seriously,” Brad said. “What you did tonight was incredibly brave, and I’m glad you were able to find your voice.”  
David hummed happily in response.  


“I love you, David. And I’m proud of you.”  


The two of them got ready for bed side by side, the domesticity was something that David found comforting. As they both drifted off, David tried not to focus on all that went wrong during dinner. 

Brad was on his stomach, pressed against David’s side, laying almost fully on top of him. Brad did that whenever he or David was feeling upset or worried. In this case, it was probably both of them. It made David feel safe, it made him feel wanted. _Brad_ made him feel safe and wanted. 

David didn’t even realize he’d been crying again until he felt a drop of water make its way down his cheek. He wasn’t sad though, he wasn’t angry anymore either, he was only relieved. He was happy to have at least one person who still loved and cared about him. David’s breathing was still shaky, but he didn’t want to disturb Brad. 

He carefully wiped at his eyes, not long before pulling Brad closer to him. Brad must have been half-awake still because he hugged back, shifting himself so that his cheek was right against David’s shoulder. It was a position they were used to laying in, only growing more comfortable the longer they held onto one another. Brad’s soft breathing was what David chose to focus on. It slowly began to match his own, becoming deeper with each exhale. 

While he was still awake, his mind only threw 2 things back and forth. The feeling of Brad’s lips against his, which was something he thought about often, and the words “I’m proud of you,” playing on repeat. 

David smiled to himself and fell asleep fast, not even realizing how tired he was.


	11. Anna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and his wife were a match made in heaven, but what happened to them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this part was actually only supposed to be a paragraph long but i got too many ideas and made it its own chapter 
> 
> do whatever you want with that information, or don’t, i’m not your mom

David Brittlesbee was 28 when he married the love of his life; or so he thought. 

Her name was Anna and they had been pretty much inseparable since college, when they met in their marketing class. 

College was a rough period for David, emotionally. He had friends, and he had Anna, but he always felt lonely. He had a hard time talking to people, and surprisingly it got easier for him to hide his emotions. 

David didn’t talk much about his life before college, he never thought it was necessary to burden someone else with all of his own problems. Initially, David had only been in search of a girlfriend in an attempt to repress his bisexuality. He still felt wrong about his own feelings and didn’t want to make them a big deal. 

But when he met Anna, the two of them actually made a connection. So they went out for dinner one night, and another, and another. 

Eventually, they were 6 years into their relationship and David finally proposed. The ceremony was small, only a few of their friends and Anna’s family members were invited. Anna was one of the only people who David could open up to, she was one of the only people who understood. She still was unnerved by his scars at first though. 

David didn’t invite his family to the wedding, and she didn’t judge him for it or question him about it. David loved her, they were happy. 

Then David took the job at Mythic Quest. His work hours became longer, but he and Anna still made things work. They still ate dinner together, spent late evenings talking about their days, and went out to dinner every few weeks. David always thought it felt nice, still having someone to come home to, even if their schedules were very different. Anna was a graphic designer, and worked from home a lot of the time, so they rarely spent full days together. 

Things had a rhythm to them; and then David met Brad. 

Poppy and Ian decided that Brad would share an office with David before he even got a chance to talk to the guy. Brad seemed cold to the touch, almost heedless, and had an overall negative vibe to him. He had walls built up, and David could recognize it. 

In their now shared office, they didn’t have anyone else to talk to except for each other. Brad’s walls would lower slightly, but he still kept that sarcastic undertone to all of his words. They became comfortable around each other, neither of them really acknowledged it, but they were becoming close friends. 

Brad rarely shared about his personal life, which was something David was familiar with. He would often be the one to talk most, telling random stories that would come across his mind. Brad would only occasionally say something about himself, which was surprising considering how egotistical he came off as. 

David wasn’t sure what he felt when he was around Brad, but he knew he wanted to spend as much time with him as he could. So they started taking late shifts together. It was a mutual agreement, them both enjoying each other’s company. 

David only knew that what he felt about Brad wasn’t love because... well, it just couldn’t be. He was married, very much in love, and still had a hard time acknowledging his attraction towards men. So wanting to be around Brad often was strictly platonic, wasn’t it? 

When they first started sharing an office, they kept a divider in between the two desks. But one day, David came into work and the divider was gone. Brad was at his desk and only gave David a close-mouthed smile to acknowledge it. It was a small gesture, but their conversations became effortless after that. The sight of the divider being gone made David feel at ease, and Brad’s smile had made his heart flutter. That quick moment became oddly special to David; a moment that stayed with him for a long time. But he wasn’t in love with Brad. He just had to convince himself of that. 

Anna said she understood when David explained that he would be getting home later most nights. David could tell she was slightly upset.  


“Ian always says that it takes what it takes to make the game great.” David told his wife over dinner. She simply smiled and nodded. 

A few weeks went by, and Anna and David were getting more distant. They talked less at dinner, the silence being a painfully recurring theme in David’s life. They were less physical, less compassionate, less _happy._

David didn’t want that to be the case, so he took Anna out to dinner again one night. They hadn’t been on an actual date in a while and David hoped it would be relaxing to have a break from their own house. 

Anna was silent for the beginning of the evening.  


“Honey, are you okay?” David asked. “You’ve been quiet since we got here.”  
“Just tired.” Anna answered bluntly.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Mhm.”  


David decided not to pry anymore, it was clear that something was bothering her, but she obviously wasn’t in the mood for talking. 

A waiter came over and brought out their food. David looked up to say thank you but the words got caught in his throat. David knew it wasn’t him, but their waiter was a spitting image of Jason. He had the same brown, curly hair and the same pale appearance. David blinked again and shook the comparison from his mind. He smiled at the waiter and his gaze lingered for a little too long as the man walked off. what was that about? She was silent for another moment, like she was thinking.  


“Are you gay?” Anna asked outright. Her voice was clear, but there was almost something sad hidden behind it. David’s eyes wandered off, avoiding eye contact.  


“Look, if this is about me just now, I was only looking at the waiter because he looked familiar.”  
“Answer the question, David.”  
“What makes you think that I am?”  
“I literally just saw you eyeing our waiter. Not only that, but whenever I ask about work, you only ever talk about Brad.” David’s heart was in his throat. He couldn’t say anything, and Anna kept talking.  
“You’ve just seemed so distant. I mean, when’s the last time we had sex? Or the last time you kissed me for longer than a second?”  
“Anna, I’m not gay. But can we talk about this at home?” David managed to say. His head hurt and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.  
“Regardless of if you are, I don’t even feel any love between us anymore.” Anna stated.  
“Wh-what are you saying?”  
“I’m saying I want a divorce, David. It’s best if we go our separate ways. I know that we have to keep living together until there’s something more permanent, but our marriage is done with.” Anna stood up and adjusted her bag on her shoulder.  
“Anna, don’t go. Can we talk this through?” David pleaded. She said nothing, turning on her heels and walking out the restaurant. 

A few other people we’re watching and talking amongst themselves as David wiped a few stray tears off of his cheeks. He asked for the check and left shortly after. 

The next week was spent in various hotels, and the MQ office, only ever running home a few times to gather his belongings. David only ever was there when he knew Anna wouldn’t be. She moved out 2 weeks after that night at the restaurant. 

David didn’t like coming home to the empty house, so he eventually moved into an apartment. One that was closer to work, and smaller so it felt a lot less lonely. People at the office seemed to treat him with more cautiousness, probably as a result of his small breakdown on Ian’s couch. 

But at least David still had enough work to distract himself with. He had Brad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that brad and david keep the divider in their office up until episode 6, which would be after david got divorced, but it made more sense to the story ig


	12. I Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 years later, Brad and David celebrate a momentous occasion; their wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the final chapter! it’s very happy and its pretty much just fluff i tried to make it as soft as i could

It had been 28 years since David moved away from his hometown to make it on his own. It had been 3 years since him and Brad had gotten together, and 18 years since he last stood at the altar, standing across from the person he loved. 

But here he was, about to marry Brad Bakshi, the man he initially never thought he stood a chance with. 

It wasn’t too large of a wedding, once again only immediate family and their friends. As David stood, hands intertwined with Brad’s, he took a look out at the chairs of people. The staff of Mythic Quest were obviously invited, them being the closest friends David had. 

He locked eyes with Poppy, who was standing behind Brad as their maid of honor. She was crying a tiny bit and David gave her a soft smile. 

His focus drifted to Brad’s family. His mom, his older sister, and a few other relatives were seated in the front row. David had spent a decent amount of time with them, mainly around the holidays, and felt so grateful for their love and support. 

Then finally, David looked at Brad. He had the sweetest smile on his face, and his eyes looked quite misty. He was wearing an all black tux, his dark curls neatly framed the edges of his face. David thought that he had never looked more beautiful. Brad and David held each other’s hands, Brad slowly moving his thumb across David’s knuckles as the officiant announced it was time for the vows. Brad’s nephew brought out the rings and David slightly melted at how adorable he was. 

Brad was the first to speak.

“Fuck,” Brad said through a nervous exhale. It earned a laugh from everyone. “I’ve never been good at um, expressing my emotions, so I hope you realize how important you are to me. You’re smart, and funny, and handsome, and caring. But most of all, you make me feel like I can trust you with everything; and I do. No matter what one of us goes through, we go through it together. Even when I’m acting like an asshole, or if I’m in a bad mood, you still look at me the same way. We’ll always be at each other’s sides, constantly growing together. This was basically a long winded way of saying that I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” Brad put the ring on David’s finger and laughed at himself for tearing up so much. 

It was a rare sight, seeing Brad get emotional, but he’ll only cry in front of you if he trusts you enough. 

David realized that _he_ was supposed to be reading out his vows now and stopped himself from staring. He cleared his throat.

“Brad, I’m not sure how I can top that whirlwind of a speech without crying more than I already am, but here goes. I love you. You know that. Things haven’t always been easy for me, but the day we became friends, I felt almost as if there was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. You make me feel better than anyone ever has, and I feel safe knowing that I have you to support me, and calm me down, and comfort me whenever I need it. Being completely and totally honest, I don’t think I would have survived these last few years if you weren’t in my life. I’ve never had a ‘picture-perfect’ family,” David glanced over in the direction of the seats where his parents would have likely been sitting, before turning his attention back to Brad. “But I have you. and I’m so lucky I get to become a part of yours. Thank you for everything.” 

David placed the ring on Brad’s finger. He let go of David’s hand momentarily just to wipe a stray tear off of his cheek. 

They smiled at each other, both in disbelief of how far they’d come. Brad wasn’t as much of the reserved and impersonal office asshole as he was when he first met David. Sure, he was still guarded, but he wasn’t as ashamed to let himself be seen anymore. David was more comfortable in his own skin. His anxiety still got the best of him a lot of the time, but he had finally found his own identity. 

He was David Brittlesbee, executive producer of a very successful video game, just moments away from being Brad Bakshi’s husband. 

David realized that he probably shouldn’t be getting so wrapped up in his thoughts during his literal wedding, but he was brought back to reality by the officiant’s voice.  


“Do you, Brad Bakshi, take David to be your husband? To love and cherish as long as you both shall live?” Brad stared into David’s eyes, he smiled sweetly.  
“I do.”  


David’s legs felt like they could have turned to jelly at the tenderness of Brad’s voice. _This was really happening._  


“And do you, David Brittlesbee, take Brad to be your husband? To care for, in sickness and in health?” The officiant spoke again.  
David blinked away more happy tears and took a deep breath.  
“I do.”  


“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you as married. You may kiss!”  


David wrapped his arms around the back of Brad’s neck as Brad placed his hands on David’s waist, both pulling one another closer. Brad’s lips tasted faintly of mint, presumably from his chapstick, and felt softer than ever. All of their friends applauded and David could hear various sniffles from amongst them. Brad smiled into the last few seconds of the kiss and they pulled away, turning back towards where everyone was seated. David gave Brad’s hand a squeeze and his face was starting to hurt from smiling so much. 

Jo handed David a bouquet before Brad linked his arm through one of David’s. They paraded back down the aisle, side by side.  


“Can you believe that I fell in love with you over an office divider? We wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t randomly decided to get rid of it.” David whispered, leaning in towards Brad.  
“Who says it was random?” Brad whispered back. “Maybe I knew it would fluster you.”  
David gave him a playful nudge with his elbow.

At the reception, David had the time of his life. There was lots of dancing and laughing and kisses from Brad. Weddings weren’t always the most pleasant for David, as they often reminded him of both his _and_ his parents’ failed marriages. 

Tonight wasn’t about that though; tonight was about celebrating. So that’s what they did. 

Brad and David’s first dance was to _Could It Be I’m Falling In Love_ by The Spinners. Brad kept one hand laced with David’s, and the other on David’s side. They both spun each other a few times too. Brad planted another kiss to David’s lips when the song was over. 

Their guests joined in on the rest of the dancing after that. 

David was in a conversation with Rachel and Dana, both congratulating him. The 3 of them shared stories of Brad and laughed a lot. Rachel mentioned how Brad pretty much helped get her and Dana into a relationship, David hadn’t realized how close Rachel and Brad were. She gave Dana a quick kiss, before leaving to go get some more drinks. 

David looked over to the dance floor and saw Brad with his niece. She was standing on his feet as he held her hands and rocked the two of them back and forth. He had a huge smile on his face and the sight of it made David smile too. Brad picked up his niece and spun her around, which successfully made her laugh. That was another thing David came to love about Brad; he was really good with kids. Brad made eye contact with David and scrunched his nose at him when he smiled.

During the toasts, David remembered why he chose Ian to be his best man. It was partially because Ian practically begged him to, but Ian was good at talking to people. Ian was pretty much known for his narcissism, so a heartfelt speech about two of his friends was... almost a surprise.  


“I know you all don’t want to hear me talk about myself, but Brad and David would never have met if it wasn’t for me, so you’re welcome?” Ian said, and everyone laughed. Brad jokingly rolled his eyes. 

Ian went into a story about the ethics committee, that he somehow knew a lot about. Jo must have been the one to pass on the story. He mentioned how Brad and David spent hours on end with one another, just to solve a problem in the game that was over quickly. The whole committee they whipped up was at work until the early hours of the morning. Ian turned towards Brad and David, taking a pause in the story. 

“I entered their office, noticing the light was still on and was going to tell them to go home. I found both of them on the couch, David’s head against Brad’s shoulder, and they were asleep. I felt like I was intruding, but I think that was the moment I realized that you two would end up together.” David blushed, he had never known that they had been walking in on. 

Ian kept talking. “In all seriousness; Brad, David, you are spectacular. You’re both you’re own people and honestly quite contrasting, but the relationship you’ve formed has been a positive thing for all of us. Thank you for showing us that even opposites can make something amazing together. Congratulations!” He raised his glass.  


“To Brad and David. We love you and wish you the absolute best.”  
“To Brad and David!” Everyone echoed. Brad put his hand on David’s leg, moving his thumb back and forth.

A round of applause was issued when David shoved cake onto Brad’s face instead of just feeding him a bite. David knew it was a cheesy thing that only really happened in movies, but a part of him had always wanted to do that. 

The night ended rather quickly, but there was still enough time to cherish every moment. Only Poppy, Jo, Ian, Rachel, and Dana remained. Most of Brad’s family members had flights to catch the next day, so they had left pretty early on. 

It was just the Mythic Quest staff now; who David pretty much considered his family. They all sat in the corner of the room and had a quiet conversation. David was sitting in an armchair and Brad sat on the arm of it. Their fingers were laced together and Brad lifted up their hands to place a kiss on David’s knuckles. 

This was easily the best night of David’s life. He was vocal about that too, and Brad agreed. 

Rachel and Dana had fallen asleep on the small couch where they were sitting, Dana with her head across Rachel’s lap. Brad looked over at them and whispered an “aww” to David. Seeing their friends happy, and seeing Brad happy, was a sight that David never would get tired of. Another tear of joy fell down David’s cheek and he let out a small laugh. He looked around at the people in the room.  


“I love you guys so much.” David said. “Thanks for making this such a great night.”  


They all answered with different forms of “I love you too” and “You’re welcome.” 

David looked up at Brad and pulled him down from the armrest and onto his lap. Brad kissed him a few times.  
“I love you the most.” David said in between kisses.  
“You’re such a sap.” Brad teased. “But I love you too.” He wiped another tear off of David’s face, before resting his head into the crook of David’s neck. That only made David get more choked up.

David Brittlesbee was a very emotional person. But tonight, for the first time in his life, he wasn’t afraid to show it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their wedding song is a callback to another fic on my account, which i recommend :)
> 
> thank you all for reading this!! 
> 
> any and all feedback is encouraged and appreciated! i had a great time writing this and i hope you liked reading it.
> 
> another special thanks to abbi (@idkshrug) for being patient and giving me ideas while i worked on this for 2 full weeks. love you so much <4

**Author's Note:**

> comments + kudos are very much appreciated


End file.
